Clash of the Champions X: Texas Shootout

Oh Glory Days..... time to continue my little project-o.

Match #1: Steve Williams v. The Samoan Savage

This was pretty decent for like the eight minutes or so it got. Freaking early Rikishi is great. You can most definately see the inspiration for the Umaga gimmick is in this guy. Seriously, watch the mannerisms and tell me it's not.

Anyways, I hate Williams as a babyface around this time. WAAAAY too vanilla-ish and thankfully he would team with Terry Gordy soon to crush eye-sockets and whatnot. Lots of smash mouth-ery going on here between these two. Power slams, lariats, punches and manly posturing make this an average/enjoyable affair. *3/4

Match #2: Tom Zenk & Brian Pillman v. The Mod Squad

Holy fuck someone make this match stop. The Williams match got eight minutes. Hell, this match went longer then the MAIN EVENT MATCH which was a cage match no less. Pillman are the ultimate "California Dreamin'" gooey good boy tag team, but haven't we been down this road with the Dynamic Dudes? What's with WCW around this time and their intense desire to push a babyface tag team of oiled up men wearing neon pink? And why are the guys they're facing dressed up like cops? Is there some sort of subtle joke i'm not getting here?

No seriously, this was awful. It's an extended version of the extended squash WCW up to this point, worked well. THis though, is brutally horrible stuff. Zenk would go on, as you will see in many more Clash Reviews, to be mixed and matched with like nine million partners. God I hate this stuff. 1/4*

Match #3: Mil Mascaras v. Cactus Jack

This is really short but really freaking good stuff as everyone comes away looking good. Mascaras looks smart and good, and while Cactus Jack comes off looking uber retarded, he comes off looking super-sick tough, taking a lot of big spots from Mascaras. In particular, his back plop (not drop) onto the bare concrete was pretty awful and Jim Ross and Jim Cornette's shreiking like school bitches being banged in the bano makes it all the more enjoyable. Cactus comes off like a great wild man heel, where it's obvious he's not, nor should he, overly concerned with the whole winning matches and belts thing. He just likes to fight. That and Mascaras rules.

After the match is even better as Cactus almost turns himself babyface by attacking the super crappy band that's playing the WCW theme song on the outside of the ring. The best is Jack chasing the guy playing guitar around and the guitarist hitting the whammy bar as he runs away from the wild man. Seriously though, this is pretty entertaining for five minutes. That's how you do a semi-squash. *3/4

Match #4: Falls Count Anywhere Match: Norman the Lunatic v. Kevin Sullivan

God, Vince must watch a lot of WCW from this period because I see inspiration for characters everywhere. Norman, who'd later become Bastion Booger in his WWF years, plays the loveable retard here who wrestles in scrubs. Kevin Sullivan is a stubby legged 'rat' as Norman calls him who won't leave him alone.

Great pre-match promo from Norman, whose talking about pinning Kevin Sullivan in a hot dog stand so he can mow hot dogs while punching Sullivan. Then there's a video clip of him in a zoo talking to a pig as if it's Kevin Sullivan while a girl looking on is looking at him like he's on drugs. Then Norman comes out to 'shout' with a Teddy Bear around his neck.

Here's another really fun match, this time of the comedy-type. Sullivan starts off angry and serious but then remembers he's wrestling a retard and takes the whole tough guy who likes to play magic cards down like 20 notches and starts bumping around for the big guy like a goof. They brawl into the crowd, on tables, on the steps, on the guard rail and then up the ramp.

The ending is particularly wild and silly as Kevin Sullivan retreats from Norman into the girl's bathroom. Norman doesn't want to go in and waits for all the girls to leave before pursuing Sullivan in there. About 20 seconds later Norman re-emerges from the bathroom with a toilet bowl in one hand, a roll of TP in the other, all while the referee is in tow. Norman wins. Or at least that's what we're led to believe.

They keep with the stip, make it fun but you don't feel the intensity of a typical Falls Count Anywhere match, which is A-OK for it's spot on the card. Pops the crowd in all the right ways and even though there's not.. like a whole lot to this... it's still a lot of fun. *3/4

Match #5: The Road Warriors v. The Sky Scrapers

Fuck YES. The sky scrapers and baby Undertaker look fantastically bad ass and the Road Warriors are pulling apart a car before the match so this will be a good brawl and all. Someone call the cops, the ambulance.. call em all.

This is worked kinda backwards from what they put over as being the major angle before the match, as the Sky Scrapers are looking to prove themselves as equal brawler to the Road Warriors, yadda yadda. The Scrapers are not exactly brawling early on. Instead, they're using their agility, which when Marc Calloway is on your team is a good thing, which makes them look surprisingly smart.

The Warriors on the other hand, are, um... themselves. They just wanna smash faces. The Scrapers though use that against the Warriors in a way as there's tons of goading going on throughout the match. Finally, once the Warriors gain the upper hand, they connect with a doomsday device, but the ref's knocked out. Calloway comes flying off the ropes with a big old steel chair and wild antics insue from there. Spivey and Calloway spike pile drive Animal onto a chair and leave, using their smarts as a way to prove their brawn.

For like the millionth time tonight, i'm surprised I liked this as much as I did given the time. They don't give fans the satisfaction of watching these two fight. Instead the scrapers more or less prance around as best they can, frustrate the Warriors and prove their worth as physical equals to the LOD. That's after surviving the Doomsday Device. A pretty nice way to get the young team over while not making the old team look bad. That's not to mention a nifty piece of booking not giving the fans the smash-face killing spree they wanted and teasing it for the pay per view. All around good effort. This isn't top 10 stuff and fuck me if it's top 20, but it's a solid piece of pro wrestling. **1/4

Match #6: Titles v. Masks: World Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers v. DOOM

Here's the run-away match of the night. The stip is simple: If the Steiners win, Doom sheds the masks. If Doom wins, they get the belts. Nothing complicated and these two teams keep it nice and simple-stupid for all.

The story through the match is real easy to follow, which is a good thing for mind-blowing retards like myself. Doom dominates, but the masks, which are supposedly their asset, end up becoming their biggest vice, at least in terms of this match. Every time Rick or Scott touch one of their masks or try to rip it off, Doom gets thrown off their game and it allows the Steiners to put some offense together.

The whole match is built simply and the pay off is great with Reed finally losing his mask. He's humiliated and mad and goes to whine to Doom #1 (who we find out later is Ron Simmons) only to get shoved into him and rolled up for the win. So we get a glorious taste of simple irony here with the bad guys strength being used against them.

The Steiners are in this match too, btw, and Scott is especially awesome here, bumping like a crazy man and letting the two brothas put a nasty beat down on whitey. They smash his face (literally his eye is like seven shades of purple afterwards), drop him on his head and do all sorts of mean nastiness to him. In fact, Scott's ability to garner sympathy are what really carry the body of the match and allow the fans to really buy into the babyfaces.

Great tag match that while it's not exactly the Shakespeare of wrestling, it's pretty good. It's more like Dr. Seuss without the rhyming. **3/4

Match #7: Steel Cage Six Man Tag Match: The Great Muta, The Dragon Slayer & Buzz Sawyer v. Ric Flair, Arn Anderson & Ole Anderson

This really isn't much of a match rather than a big angle to end the show on.

Earlier in the night, Sting was expelled from the Four Horseman for taking a contract to face Flair for the belt at the Bash. Ole called him a bitch and they beat him down. Basically, if Sting ditches the contract, he walks away safe, if he doesn't, well then........

Anyways this match goes on and it quickly becomes an afterthought as soon as Muta and Anderson exchange some silly not so sexy stuff. Sting comes running out and that's that. Save for some pretty sick cage shots that Sawyer takes, no one really seems to give a crap that the match is gonig on and is wholely more conscerned with how Sting is going to rape Flair and take his manhood from him.

So yeah, there just isn't anything in this to really give it much more than a star and a half for some cute action in an angle. *1/2

Overall: So i've basically not rated a match at *** on this entire card and i'm ok with that. DESPITE that you squirly fuckers should be fine with it too. This really is a better show than the ratings might indicate. Most of the matches are just too short to go much higher but really, that's all ok. This is worth a pick up to see for a fun, quickie wrestling show. Doom-Steiners is really good stuff but other than that, there ain't much worth going TOO out of your way to see.

Clash of Champions On Going Top 10 (Through Clash X)

1. Ricky Steamboat v. Ric Flair, World Hvt Title, Clash VI *****
2. Ric Flair v. Terry Funk, I Quit Match, Clash IX ****1/4
3. Ricky Steamboat v. Terry Funk, Clash VII ***3/4
4. The Midnight Express v. Ric Flair & Barry Windham, Clash IV ***3/4
5. Sting v. Ric Flair, World Hvt Title, Clash I ***1/2
6. Ric Flair & Sting v. Great Muta & Dick Slater, Clash VIII ***1/2
7. Midnight Express v.The Fantastics, US Tag Titles, Clash I ***1/4
8. Sting v. Barry Windham, US Title, Clash III ***1/4
9. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard v. Barry Windham & Lex Luger, World Tag Titles, Clash I ***
10. Lex Luger v. Tommy Rich, US Championship, Clash VIII ***

Clash of Champions IV: Season's Beatings

Clash of Champions IV: Season's Beatings
December, 1988
Chatanooga, TN

MATCH #1: US Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: The Fantastics v. Ron Simmons & Eddie Gilbert

First things first, it was a surprise they went as long with this match as they did. The crowd seems to be definately in the corner of Simmons & Gilbert, despite the Fantastics being uber babyfaces. Both teams adjust well to this dynamic with some good role playing early on as Gilbert establishes himself as the best wrestler in the match, while Simmons is willing to play the bully.

As things move along though, it evolves into something unexepctadly good, and that's Eddie Gilbert playing the babyface in peril, and the Fantastics looking like the dominating and at times ruthless aggressors. Gilbert is probably one of the better pure heels wrestling had in the 80s, while NO ONE played better rag dolls than the Fantastics. So the reverse psychology in a sense, works here.

The finish is built to nicely, with the arm work on Gilbert ending up being his team's undoing. Unfortunately though, it ended up backfiring in the last five minutes, especially the finish, as the crowd was a little TOO behind Simmons and Gilbert winning the match. In wrestling, it's always good to roll with the punches when the crowd is more undecided, but only to a point and I think they might have overdone it here. It's a case of these guys almost being a little too good for their own good, which unfortunately can be the downfall of some dream match up combinations.

Still though, this is a solid offering and a great end to a fun tournament. The roles evolve throughout the match and the boys try to manage the crowd reactions as best they can, even if it didn't end on the note they were looking for. **3/4

MATCH #2: Steve Williams v. The Italian Stallion

This match killed far more time than it should have. Nothing was offensively bad here, in fact Williams looks like a killer as always, but again, guys like Stallion just don't have enough stuff to really fill up a 15 minute match and make it look like they've got much of a fighting chance. There are a ton of spots where you're just waiting for Williams to end it and NOT looking for a Stallion comeback. There are some good spurts for a minute here and a minute there and the transitions are also done pretty well, so again, this isn't entirely un entertaining, but it's nothing overly decent either. *1/2

MATCH #3: Hand Tied Behind His Back: Ivan Koloff v. Paul Jones

Here's another match with just a strange dichotamy. Jones and Koloff are probably two of the most hated heels in the company at this time and it's just plain odd to see Koloff working babyface. Jones heels it up well and Nikita's comebacks are done pretty well so on the surface, this is probably better than most would give it credit for, but it struggles in the sense that no one seems to really be behind Ivan at any one point. Another match that didn't have anything bad, but just suffered from a lack of feel that's important in a good rivalry. *1/2

MATCH #4: Dusty Rhodes v. Road Warrior Animal

This starts off fun, but man oh man is Dusty sloppy in this. I'm not a guy that puts TOO much stock into move execution, but Dusty's so out of place in times, it takes away from my overall enjoyment of things. Just like the Sullivan match from September, it just doesn't last long enough to really start going anywhere. Dusty hits the ring like a ball of fire, awkwardly cleans house, the crowd explodes and everyone sort of gets carried away. Dusty pelts the referee and Hawk interferes before Sting comes in to make the save and we've got the last little bit of build before the big Starrcade grudge match. This doesn't come off like an actual match, but more like an extended continuation of an angle, which I will say is quite good, but again, that doesn't really help the match all that much. *1/4

MATCH #5: The Midnight Express v. Ric Flair & Barry Windham

For a lot of people, this is sort of a dream match up. The Midnight Express are basically kings of the tag division. They've held both the World and US tag titles and at one point, held both at the same time. Flair and Windham are the World and US singles champs, and obviously the superior singles workers, so you know this is set up to be good. It sure delivers in spades.

To this point, I think this is the best match the Clash has produced. The Midnight Express dominate the early going, as they should, this being their environment. Flair in particular, is never given an opportunity early on to figure out either Lane nor Eaton as the Express use a lot of quick tags and double team moves to keep Flair utterly off balance. Windham looks totally lost (in a good way) trying to handle both guys as the Express keep things calm for themselves, as hectic for the Horseman.

Eventually though, the Horseman start thinking and while Flair aren't as accustomed to tag wrestling as Arn and Tully, still know how to take advantage of a situation and Windham turns the tables while the referee is tending to Lane by clocking Eaton with a killer lariat. From there, the Horseman start targeting the head and legs and doing their horseman thing, keeping him iscolated while getting their big shots in while the official is tending to the babyfaces.

Eventually though, Lane gets a killer hot tag and cleans house. Eaton is back in quickly enough and with Windham more or less taken care of, they go for the home run shots on Flair hitting the goozle then an Eaton top rope leg drop. Emotions take over though as Cornette goes ballistic on JJ Dillon on the outside for getting a little overly involved in the match (the goading of Cornette throughout the match is a fun distraction) and Flair's able to quickly turn the tables with a shoe shot to a weakened Eaton's head, draping his partner over Bobby for the victory.

Here's another good match made better by playing to the obvious surface strengths of all four guys in the ring. This is classic Horseman stuff here as they think (and cheat) their way to a win with a super hot crowd.

This is a match that anyone looking to become a good tag wrestler should watch. Roles stay consistent and that theme trumps anything else. Flair and Windham look awkward at first, but their sheer ability keeps them in it long enough to buy opportunities to beat a supererior TEAM. This is a brutally awesome match that is a must see and to this point, is the best i've seen on any of the shows thus far. ***3/4


OVERALL: This is two beautiful loaves of bread with some shitty meat in the middle. There's plenty of Starcade build, but they didn't go for the hard sell for the pay per view as much as I'd expect. Everyone, losers included, head into the pay per view looking strong. This isn't consistently good throughout, but it's still pretty great. B

Clash of Champions On Going Top 10 (Through Clash IV)
1. The Midnight Express v. Ric Flair & Barry Windham, Clash IV ***3/4
2. Sting v. Ric Flair, World Hvt Title, Clash I ***1/2
3. Midnight Express v.The Fantastics, US Tag Titles, Clash I ***1/4
4. Sting v. Barry Windham, US Title, Clash III ***1/4
5. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard v. Barry Windham & Lex Luger, World Tag Titles, Clash I ***
6. The Fantastics v. Ron Simmons & Eddie Gilbert, US Tag Titles, Clash IV **3/4
7. The Fantastics v. The Sheepherders **1/2, Clash II
8. Mike Rotundo v. Brad Armstrong, TV Title, Clash III **1/2
9. Ricky Morton v. Ivan Koloff, Russian Chain Match, Clash III **1/2
10. Dusty Rhodes & Sting v. Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson **1/2, Clash II