Clash of Champions VII: Guts N Glory

Clash of Champions VII
Fort Bragg, NC
June 14, 1989

Match #1: Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Final: The Freebirds (Michael Hayes & Jimmy Garvin) v. The Dynamic Dudes

Say what you will about the brutally cheesy Dynamic Dudes gimmick, this is a pretty good tag match. The Freebirds are ones uncorking the big angle though, unveiling Garvin as the newest member of the faction. The Dudes are the cinderella team here, as Ross puts them over as the more inexperienced and undefeated team that's managed to earn a few surprise wins here and there to get themselves here. Still, they're huge underdogs.

The match starts out with some good cheesey heel stalling from the 'Birds before we get into the meat and potatoes of it all. The Birds looked rather surprised right off the bat and surprisingly, despite the organization being as great as it was, Hayes and Garvin are obviously inexperienced in terms of tagging with EACH OTHER, so this works ok.

Once the Freebirds start playing the numbers game, it's just a matter of time and sure enough, they cheat and cheat and cheat to maintain their advantage. Eventually Shane Douglas gets the big hot tag but the fun doesn't last long, as Terry Gordy super-involves himself, distracting the ref long enough for Hayes to absolutely murder Douglas with a nasty implant DDT to win the match.

Overall, this is surprisingly strong but is just agreat showcase of how freaking good the Freebirds are at making a team look good. Not that the Dudes get dragged to something decent, as they definately carry their weight here, but everything they do is magnified times seven thanks to Hayes, Garvin and Gordy. **1/4

Match #2: World Tag Title Tournament Semi Final: The Midnight Express v. The Samoan SWAT Team

This match is basically the Clash VI match with a HELL of a lot more intensity. Both teams go through their stuff for extended periods of time before we get a hot tag. The hot tag sequence comes off well until all hell breaks loose and Cornette's being a douche, Paul E. Dangerously is being a douch, hell, it's a douche-fest.

The end though, is dirty, dirty, but sets up the final well. The Road Warriors hate the SWAT's and Dangerously too, and feel the need to inerject themselves in the match and do quite gloriously. Thanks to the leg up, the Midnights win.

This isn't anything super spectacular, but it's amazing how much better this comes across with a hot crowd behind it. The hate works better, Cornette is a better douche, same with Dangerously.. just everything works better. **1/4

Match #3: Ranger Ross v. The Terrorist

Ranger Ross is basically here to pop the army boys and go home. That's basically, err, literally all that happends. Ross comes out, waves a flag and kicks a terrorist. *******3/4.2's

No really, probably 1/4* for practically nothing happening except a kick-y.

Match #4: The Ding Dongs v. Cougar Jay & George South

Good lord fuck. I never imagined i've EVER review a Ding Dongs match, but hell is a chilly place today.

It's AMAZING how bad the crowd shits on these guys. Like amazing. They're also amazingly annoying with the dinging bell in the corner and not being particularly in sync at all. In fact, had Cougar and South not sold their backsides off, this could have been a nuclear-disaster type bad match. The Dongs blow a ton of spots in a relatively short period of time and spend the rest of the time shedding little bells all over the ring. Funniest part of the mat is Jay leaning down and going 'what the fuck' when picking up the bells on the mat. Honestly, for that moment alone, this isn't a total dud, but it's DAMN close. 1/4*

Match #5: Steve Williams v. Terry Gordy

Ah man, I love these two in a match. Any match. Even in a spaghetti eating contest.

This starts off super fast and super intense with these two basically beating the fuck out of each other with lots of big man super fun. Both struggle to move the other man around the ring at will and both aren't easily able to eat the other guy's offense. Big man matches are best when it's like two bricks clacking off each other. The beginning of this is all that.

Then it plateaus big time unfortunately. Not that anything's bad, but the crowd chills five minutes into this and Gordy and Williams struggle to get them back into it, despite even fighting into the crowd, which of course causes the countout, but still, you'd have figured that'd have done them SOME good.

Overall this is fun, but doesn't go long enough for it to go to the next level and they lose the crowd pretty quickly. The good sequences are awesomely awesome though. **1/4

Match #6: The Varsity Club (Mike Rotundo & Kevin Sullivan) v. The Steiner Brothers

This is a really good short match. Basically Scott's come to the NWA to give his big brother some backup against the cocky Varsity douches. Thus, the Steiner Brothers are born.

Anyways, this match is awesome with the Steiners coming out to Hot Stuff. They surprise the Varsity Club clowns early in the match, especially Scott, whose looking pretty plucky. Eventually though, Scott gets caught and basically gets wrecked by Sullivan. This is the best part of the match and Scott plays an excellent babyface in peril here as the Varsity Club subject him to all sorts of dastardly treatment, including a nasty table bump and a particularly stiff shot with some wooden ring steps.

The hot tag sequence is done well and the Varsities cutting it off and getting the cheating win, over Scott no less, leaves the door open for more stuff down the line as well as something for Scott and Rick to continue to strive for. Very well structured short match. **1/2

Match #7: NWA World Television Championship: Sting v. Bill Irwin

This is another short, utterly pointless match on this card. By now, the crowd's starting to get a little sick of getting good initial stuff and losing it as we get into the match. This only goes about three minutes and is a cute Stinger squash, who brings some ok stuff here, but really, it's still pretty bleh. *

Match #8: NWA World Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals: The Freebirds v. The Midnight Express

How can you NOT get up for THIS? I'm betting there'll be a lot of hip swiveling and cock thrusting here in a non homosexual way.

Unfortuantely though, this doesn't really deliver at all. They start with a fantastic premise. Paul E Dangerously jumps Jim Cornette with a loaded rackett and leaves him mildly retarded on the floor. The Dynamic Dudes help Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnight Express in deep trouble, as they're up against the numbers of the Freebirds. Basically, they're done before the match starts.

They do some sorts cardboard tag stuff, of course executed well, but nothing mindblowing before heading into the "Bobby Eaton is a punching bag" part of the match. Eaton's one of the best sellers the business ever had and is outstanding here and the crowd gradually gets behind him. They play to the numbers thing with Lane CONSTANTLY protecting him on the outside as often as possible.

Then, they just don't do much with it, or at least from the babyfaces perspective. Basically Lane gets the hot tag and we're working the SAME EXACT formula we've used in TWO previous tag matches in the night where it gets cut off, Gordy interjects himself and then that's it. Now, playing to the numbers in that respect works ok but I feel empty here for whatever reason.

I REALLY think this could and would have benefitted greatly from Cornette coming back from the locker room or the Dudes or some other babyface team coming to the corner of the Midnights while they're in peril. They never really worked beyond that. Lane's hot tag gets a big pop, but his offense looks awkward in that role and of course nothing really ever gets going with it, as we do the dirty finish we've done twice already tonight, which is frustrating in a way.

This goes about ten minutes and hell, it didn't need anymore time to be great, it just lacked a real swerve or hot spot to get it really going. Normally I wouldn't give a crap if it wasn't two of my favorite tag teams of all time meeting for the first time. Regardless of that, I can't really FAULT them for it in the match, but dammmit I feel like they could've gone the extra mile with it, even with the time alotted to them. **1/2

Match #9: Norman the Lunatic v. Mike Justice

Ah, Bastion Booger pre-Bastion Booger days. It still blows. 45 seconds of Herd crap. DUD.

Match #10: Ricky Steamboat v. Terry Funk

Finally, a match i've REALLY been waiting to see and FINALLY, a match that doesn't really dissapoint.

Steamboat really brings the good here and Funk is Funk. The story here is that Funk's an unstoppable psycho and Steamboat ain't gonna be intimidated by him. The strikes from Steamboat really have some, uh, steam behind them and he seems totally content to work the wild style Funk wants.

The thing I love about this is that it's a wild brawl without one really crazy spot, fighting into the crowd, or baging of heads off of tables. Just punches and chops gallore and a whole lot of 'tude. NO ONE worked that match as well as Funk and everything he does makes him look like a killer and totally out of his mind.

Oddly enough though, as Funk tends to do, his performance fades to the background and his craziness just amplifies the sympathy Steamboat is able to garner by eating so many of Funk's big moves like the pile driver, the pile driver on the floor, etc. He comes off as a pseudo badass even, as Funk bounces around and sells his tail off for Steamboat all while maintaining and enhancing his maniac persona.

This is a real treat on a lot of levels and it's worked tightly, which works well. The fourteen minutes is the perfect ammount of time because they minimize the chances of the crowd ever fading out of it. This is a really great match i'd say is probably in my top three, but I still can't decide if I like the Midnight-Flair/Windham tag better. It's tough call. ***3/4

Overall: This is probably the weakest Clash show i've seen yet, although it is entertaining and a good show all around. I guess the biggest thing about this show is that many of the match ups prove to be really dissapointing. Gordy-Williams never takes off, the Midnights-Freebirds never get going, etc. It's like everyone sat in the back and were like, 'ok, we've got a limited amount of time for our matches, let's work five great minutes and then just work in a finish'. The main event is really worth going out of your way to see though, while the crap is awesomely crappy in a way that only the Jim Herd run WCW could be. Overall, a dissapointing show, but not entirely bad on any level. C+

Clash of Champions On Going Top 10 (Through Clash VII)
1. Ricky Steamboat v. Ric Flair, World Hvt Title, Clash VI *****
2. Ricky Steamboat v. Terry Funk, Clash VII ***3/4,
3. The Midnight Express v. Ric Flair & Barry Windham, Clash IV ***3/4
4. Sting v. Ric Flair, World Hvt Title, Clash I ***1/2
5. Midnight Express v.The Fantastics, US Tag Titles, Clash I ***1/4
6. Sting v. Barry Windham, US Title, Clash III ***1/4
7. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard v. Barry Windham & Lex Luger, World Tag Titles, Clash I ***
8. The Fantastics v. Ron Simmons & Eddie Gilbert, US Tag Titles, Clash IV **3/4
9. Road Warriors v. The Varsity Club, World Tag Titles, Clash VI **3/4
10.The Fantastics v. The Sheepherders **1/2, Clash II

Dropping Out
Mike Rotundo v. Brad Armstrong, TV Title, Clash III **1/2